Not Your Middle School Food Fight
Y’all, let’s get real. Sometimes parenting is hard. In fact, I would almost go as far to say that parenting is always hard, at least in one way or another. And the tough part is that kids are all so different, so while we all may be struggling, we’re all struggling in different ways. For us right now, it’s with eating. “Food Fights” were so much more fun in middle school. Now it takes on a whole new meaning. Preparing for a meal time feels like preparing for war. Boy, do I wish that was an exaggeration. But truthfully I charge into lunch and dinner like that “This is SPARTA!” meme every single day.
And like all good moms (ha), I’m part of an *often judgemental* facebook group, which is dedicated to getting little ones to eat good, healthy meals. Regularly on this page I’ll see posts from desperate mothers - battle cries - searching for any and all advice on how to get their kid to eat something other than chicken nuggets and mac n cheese. Girl, I feel you.
Unfortunately, the comments below it range from tips and tricks that have worked for the commenters personal household to condensending blows asking how they ever got to this point in the first place. Clearly they’ve done something wrong. The tone hints at them not being suitable mothers if they haven’t navigated how to feed their kids wholesome meals throughout toddlerhood. Goodness if this is the case, I’ll go ahead and volunteer as tribute and lead the tribe as most neglegent mom ever.
But here’s the truth. I’m not a neglegent mom. I’m a wonderful mom, and so are you, whether you’re struggling with kids nutritional diets or something entirely different. And it would be silly to assume that what worked for your household and your kids would automatically be successful in my family. My kid is different. He tantrums in different ways and about different things. He’s more or less strongwilled (although, probably more - because, GOODNESS Y’ALL). He operates differently and responds to things differently. Our stressors are different. Not to mention the physical differences of taste preferences, sensory sensitivity, etc. There are so many variables. So what has come easy for you in this foggy maze of parenting, might not be as easy for us to navigate.
I think the key ingredient here is simple. It’s empathy. We need to stop labeling moms as “good” and “bad,” or “suitable” and “unsuitable,” based on things that are so incredibly circumstantial. My guess is, if you’re anything like me, whatever your Spartan Battle is as a parent is causing you a decent amount of stress and wasted brain power. And the sheer fact that you care so much, automatically puts you into the “good mom” category.
So whatever the battle is, I feel you and I’m walking it with you. It may look different in our household but I’m confident that it feels the same: confusing, exhuasting, and at times hopeless. But we’ll keep going and continue to try to find the perfect approach that allows the stars to finally align. We’ll continue to trudge through it like undercover Spartans, because we’re mothers, and that’s what we do.