My Husband Does the Laundry
The other day I was chatting with my girlfriends and while we were engaging in small-talk I made a flabbergasting statement. “My husband does most of the laundry.” Silence.
What?!
Once we got through the initial shock, questions began to fire off. He does his laundry? Wait, he does your laundry too? How did you get him to do laundry? He doesn’t ruin the clothes? So, if he does the lanudry what do you do?
I honestly hadn’t realized it was such a social phenomenom. The pandemonium only continued when I added that he does most of the cooking too, and that we split dishes about 50/50.
Since having this conversation with my fellow wives, I now understand that this isn’t necessarily typical. My husband helps out a lot, and I couldn’t be more appreciative, because if it was solely up to me, I’ll be the first to tell you our household and lives would be an utter disaster. The truth is we’ve got a lot going on - just like you, and the typical, socially acceptable gender roles weren’t working for our marriage. My husband is naturally much tidier than I am. Structure and routine are a legitimate component of his love language. Meanwhile, I enjoy house renovations much more than he does. So when we need something built for our house or a picture hung on the wall, guess who’s grabbing the drill? This girl. When something desperately needs to be cleaned, guess who’s most likely to be the first to the sponge? My man.
Is this atypical? Maybe, but there’s something I want to highlight here that I think is crucial to a well-oiled relationship and household. Sometimes you need to step out of your specified social roles to do what works best for your unique situation. My husband and I, through many years of counseling, have figured out that we are a team and just like any successful team, we need to work together. So when a task comes up we are both willing to have a “put me in coach” mentality regardless of what it is.
Do I love doing dishes? No. Is there anything I hate more in this world than laundry? Probably not, except maybe wild mice. (Side note - one time I discovered a dead mouse in our landry machine. That was pretty much the most horrific experience I’ve ever had). Does my husband like doing dishes or laundry? Heck no. But we both pitch in because dishes and laundry need to be done and we both have a desire for our household to run well.
A big part of growing up for me has been realizing that I don’t need to enjoy everything I do in life. Equally as mind blowing, one day our counselor told me that my spouse didn’t have to like everything that I asked him to do. Sometimes you just have to do things that suck, and that’s okay.
So my encouragement to you is to have a conversation with your spouse about how your hosuehold can be most successful. Do responsibilities need to be shifted? Do certain roles need to change? Be willing to set egos aside and mold yourself into what is going to best serve your family’s schedule and lifestyle. If you keep your common goal of a smooth running household in mind, I think you both will be willing to do what is necessary to acheive it. Afterall, you’re playing for the same team.